Inventory of New Year’s Day



It sucks being old; unable to simply still count on my body that it would be able to do this and that without problem. Will cannot move old matter.

It sucks to be in constant pain; in fact, the stupid pain erodes humanity at the edges and creates anger for nothing, anger that cannot be turned against the cause, against pain itself. Pain also kills all sparks of energy.

It sucks being old and alone, for at this age, all prospects of finding a suitable friend/lover/partner seem more remote than my chances of climbing K2, with or without oxygen. However, the mind and emotions are not old, but who would know?

It sucks to be stuck in one place when the soul is gypsy, when all I want to do is go, and go, and go some more, to explore, to see, to experience… elsewhere.

It sucks to have a job that’s boring and that doesn’t pay enough, and that’s the only place where they hired me because I’m too old, or too or not enough something or other.

It sucks to be a news junkie in today’s America since the only news one gets are about Trump and, frankly, it gets old… though he hasn’t even been sworn in yet. Exit the news junkie.

It sucks to be a single working mom and never have time for anything fun or interesting.

And while I’m at it, let me tell you that it sucks to be poor, or close to poor. Though money isn’t equal happiness, it sure helps to pay for a good doctor and alleviate pain, have time for my child and my friends, and allow me to travel again.

And in the end, it really sucks, too, when you watch a movie and they kill of the heroes just before the end! That’s how I feel so often… I would like to be the heroine of my movie, but it feels as if “they” are cutting out what could have been my best performances, and seem wanting to kill me before the end… 😦

Sorry, I can’t really get excited about 2017….





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