Anxiety – The Monster That Grows

beast

 

Anxiety is not just fear from situations, people, animals, things, it is the fear of possibilities, sometimes rational, often irrational.

I knew that.

My son has anxiety.

What I didn’t know is that it can grow.

Anxiety is a monster that insinuates itself into all aspects of life. It lurks at home, at school (my son is 13 years old), it goes with him to sports and events, it especially grows before tests and social situations, it pushes its tentacles everywhere and – before you know it – it’s not only there to stay, but it’s here full time.

I had no idea.

I figured that we did enough: counseling, trying medicine, talking to teachers, to the dean, organizing activities with my son’s friends, ….

But it wasn’t enough.

Now we are here, facing the monster.

Unlike the dragon-slayers of old, we stand empty handed: no sword, no canon, no gun, no knife, not even a stick; only our mind. And our minds are quite frazzled as it is. My son is in the grips of the monster, and I don’t know how to stop it (or him).

New doctor.

New medicine.

New counselor.

New school.

New him?
You wish!

 

Sometimes I sit and cry for my child. He was such a sunny, funny and fun character. He is so smart and yet cannot hold his ground against the growing anxieties.

Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong. I wish I could re-do it better, smarter, more carefully… but I can’t.

I’m trying to come up with a good ending for this blog but I can’t, either.

 

~~~*~~~

.

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Anxiety – The Monster That Grows

  1. Kai says:

    It is not your fault! There is nothing that could change it. It’s really hard, I know. But you’re a wonderful mum and you’re doing a great job! Thinking of you both x

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s