When explaining why someone behaves like s/he behaves or why s/he committed a crime we often hear: “I’m from a dysfunctional family.”
Nowadays, this seems to be the politically correct way to admit AND, often, to be absolved of all crimes and responsibilities.
I know it.
I’ve said and experienced it myself.
But a dysfunctional background is not an excuse, nor is it a reason; it is only a fact.
If we are educated and lucid enough to realize and admit that we have been brought up in a dysfunctional family, we should never use it as an excuse, but rather as a starting point to better ourselves.
If we are able to enumerate all the “things they’ve done to us” we should also be able to use this list as the “things we’ll never do to anyone.”
But… unfortunately, we do.
Or should I say: “Of course we do.”
That’s the dysfunction.
And shall we give in to it?
Shall we continue the legacy?
Instead, we could and should use our old, crappy list as the basis of the work in progress that we are and check on ourselves in order to not perpetrate the dysfunction.
It will be difficult.
But it will be totally worth it.
Our painful past should stay in the past and, rather than using it as a handy excuse, it should be our responsibility to use it to change ourselves, our future, as well as the present and future of all those whom we love and care about.
Kill the excuse and start working on the improved “me!”