Slipping Through the Mesh of Life

rocks

Photo by MigrantThoughts

 

I’ve suffered of depression my whole life; it’s a family heirloom.
However, after so many years of trying medication (which wasn’t all that great “way back when”), therapy, and simply working on finding harmony (still searching…), I’m now able to counter depressing thoughts most of the time.

It helps a lot to actively avoid depressing situations and relationships.
It helps with depression, but what’s the backlash?

Last Sunday, I’ve been thinking depressing thoughts about my dysfunctional family or, more precisely, of what my siblings did and still “do to” me.

Aïe, aïe, aïe…. it continues hurting.

>>>>In no time, my thoughts raced down the rickety ladder, down from elevated spirits, past ground zero, and deep, deep into the dark, nasty muck.<<<<

However, as I said above, I’m now able to stop the destruction and pull myself out of there again, by my own hair if necessary.

I can cope by not coping.

I will myself not to think of it.

… just as I refuse now to trust anyone (except a few very close friends whom I know since a number of years), and as I keep away from situations that promise to become upsetting…

I know, it’s still a technique in the making, but I’ve improved quite a bit my way of slipping through the mesh of life without getting caught in it.

Oh yes, there is backlash: I keep myself from many experiences and encounters.

But hey, you never get anything without paying the price…

The sad truth is that, even for the average upbeat person, life is often depressing, jobs are generally depressing, and people are definitely depressing.

So why not keep away from things as much as possible?
Or, if that isn’t possible, why engage when I can just slide by?

Alas, even with all the guards up, there are days when it is difficult to catch a sunray on which to slip through the negative webs of others without getting hurt.

 

 

~~~*~~~

.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s