Of Hate and Revenge and Food




>>>>> I hate cooking! <<<<<

No! ….Let me rephrase this: I REALLY hate cooking.
From scratch.
And baking.
And cleaning up after cooking or baking.

Nevertheless, I sometimes buy “ready to do it yourself” packages, or find an interesting “easy” recipe on the internet. Since we don’t get to eat any of the awesome and delicious prepared and junk foods that other people can eat because we (my son and I) have multiple food allergies, the temptation to cook or bake “something yummy” and not necessarily nutritious is sometimes great.

The deception is often great, too, because – don’t you know? – things have a way of taking revenge when handled improperly.

However, after a few weeks have passed since my last attempt and the memory of the latest blackened or gooey and definitely weird tasting cake/bread/dish/food has faded, I might launch myself again into the preparation of home cooking or baking.

Today was such a day.

My son woke up with a severe cold which brought the expectations of interesting outings for the day to a screeching halt. Why, then, not bake that bread, make that pie (no baking required) and whip up a batch of homemade mayonnaise with the remaining egg yolk?

Easy said, easy done….



Not so easy, after all.

I have the pleasure to announce that my chocolate cream pie IS delicious.
We just had a piece and it is right up there with our expectations. (I may add – to the benefit of any reader who suffers from a bunch of food sensitivities just like I do – that I can eat the pie, but some of the individual ingredients make me sick if I consume them alone. Weird, eh?)


The pie is also the only product that I succeeded to prepare correctly.

The mayonnaise is liquid like oil with a little egg in it, and the bread…
Oh, I can barely admit it!

It came in a box; one only had to add water, vinegar, and oil. I mixed the dough for so long that I thought my arm would fall off (I don’t own a fancy mixer that can handle bread dough) and let it rise for 45 minutes, as mentioned on the package.

The stuff just wouldn’t rise.

I hoped that things would get better once in the hot oven. They didn’t.

And then…. I picked up the box in order to toss it into the recycling bin and noticed that there was still something in there.

The yeast!


Gluten-free bread is already only so-so to the palate,
but now I’ve got unleavened gluten-free bread…
Looks like hardened, beige jello with a crust.


Maybe if I toast the slices before eating?