The Smoke Balloon


Have you ever heard of a “smoke balloon?”

I didn’t, either, until…. I came up with the idea and invented the word.

A “smoke balloon” is a brand new device that could help improve smoker to non-smoker relationships.

Like many non-smokers, I have been the victim of smokers who stink up the air I breathe.
Isn’t it entirely amazing how many cubic yards of air one smoker can wreck with just one cigarette? I don’t know the exact number but – let me tell you – it must be a lot.

I’ve lived now for sixteen months next to chain-smoking neighbors. As soon as we would open a window, a balcony door, or as soon as we stepped out into our tiny backyard, there they came and lit up. Since my child and I don’t want to breathe their toxic fumes, we always went back inside and/or closed all doors and windows.

(I’m actually sure that these particular neighbors came out to smoke on purpose each time they noticed us outside… because they liked to chase us back in. But that’s beside the point I’m trying to make here.)

Their toxic smoke never stayed in their yard. It always spread into our yard and inside our house if a window or door had been left open. It would even curl around the house and come in through the windows on the far side of the house.

I have no idea what the dynamics of cigarette smoke are; I only know that one cigarette can be smelled half a block away. These fumes must be spreading like in my simple illustration below:

cigarette smoke

I was thinking of this today while I was enjoying fresh air, since those neighbors just moved out, and I thought of how much I hope that the next ones will be non-smokers.

However, if they are smokers, I would like to patent the “smoke balloon,” as seen here below:

smoke balloon

As you can see, it’s some kind of balloon (made of non-toxic, biodegradable material) into which the smoker can exhale his or her toxic air. Once the cigarette is finished, they close the balloon with a knot and throw it in the trash.

Voila: no more trouble between neighbors.
And if the balloon bursts inside the garbage truck or at the landfill… no problem! We are not going to sniff that air anyway.

Problem solved!




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